Mars and Venus and the Gospel

I'm always slightly uncomfortable when the "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing comes up. It's not that I don't think men and women are different--I do. What I don't like is the emphasis that is sometimes placed on these differences. I feel this way for three reasons.

First, we're all people who have the same fundamental needs and wants. An over-emphasis on the differences obscures the more plentiful similarities. Second, there is incredible variation within the sexes--maybe even as much as between them. Most of the women I know actually DO want to solve their problems instead of just talking about them, and the men in my family ask for directions (when they need them).

Finally, emphasizing differences tends to give us an excuse for bad behavior. For example, saying "women are naturally more charitable than men" is often an excuse used by men who just don't want to bother to actually be charitable. [Whenever I hear this, I try to point out that the most charitable person who has ever existed, Jesus Christ, is a man.] It happens on the women's side sometimes too--"he's so much better at problem-solving than me; I'm just all emotions." Regardless of whether or not the statement is true, the fact that you're an emotional person doesn't excuse you from having to learn how to solve your problems.

Given this background, you may understand why I was a little nervous when I found out that yesterday's Relief Society lesson was on "The Women of the Church." Sometimes these lessons can digress into stereotypes. However, when I read the lesson, I found President Kimball's perspective to be truly beautiful:

"...In his wisdom and mercy, our Father made men and women dependent on each other for the full flowering of their potential. Because their natures are somewhat different, they can complement each other; because they are in many ways alike, they can understand each other. Let neither envy the other for their differences; let both discern what is superficial and what is beautifully basic in those differences, and act accordingly. And may the brotherhood of the priesthood and the sisterhood of the Relief Society be a blessing in the lives of all the members of this great Church, as we help each other along the path to perfection."

Wow! Three cheers for inspired interpersonal relationship perspectives!